Three's Company (Monday, November 28th)

I had the honor to spend last week with Brian Baker and Brian Bielen, two of my very closest friends from Montana, in what turned out to be one of the most memorable and enjoyable weeks of my life. On the surface, this was a week spent hiking the trails of Southern Utah, exploring the treasures of hidden spur-canyons, chatting late into the night around a warm fire, and eating delicious meals of fresh venison and homegrown potatoes. But underneath, this was a week that taught me a lot about the importance of friendship, the beauty of companionship, and the constant struggle for personal integrity.

(I know. I know. It seems like every day is a life lesson and every experience brings some epic epiphany. It is what it is. So we'll continue...)

I am so grateful to have had the chance to share this enchanting place with two people like Brian and Brian: two people who truly love the outdoors, who are always looking for an adventure, who participate on a daily basis with the world around them, and who appreciate the beauty and silence of the desert. I experienced this place much differently with them than I would have on my own. Neither better nor worse--just differently. Their keen eyes allowed me to focus on details I would have otherwise brushed over--the patterns of colors and lines in rock walls and the curvature and texture of the soft sand and unique pebbles. Their curious natures allowed for us to explore unmarked canyons and unveil the secret hiding places of ancient granaries and villages. Together, we were kids again--asking the unanswerable questions, noticing the smallest details, immersing ourselves into this big unknown world, and laughing until we couldn't breath.

Spending this time with them also gave me the chance to test some of the personal theories and positions that I had been developing over the past few weeks. If my new perspectives were truly genuine, then I would have to maintain them while remaining comfortable and confident around the people that I care about most. If they accept me, and most importantly if I accept me, then the quality is worth embodying and strengthening. So I was able to test some things out: staying slow and being present while power-hiking at top speeds through a canyon, looking inwardly at ones own perfections and imperfections before looking outwardly at the qualities of others, being humbled by a world so big that neither you nor your friends can grasp it, and coming to understand that true freedom comes from that humility.

So here's the "A-ha moment." Let's skip the long explanation and go straight to what I know. Happiness, as well as the answers to life's great questions, comes from inside an individual. I hold my key, just as you hold yours. I need me--truly present and fully aware--I need me. However, we often need others to spark us, to share with us what they have already discovered, and to pull those mysteries out from deep within us. We need others. My search for community, for understanding, and for commonality is not a weakness, but a strength. I need others. And that's humbling. I wonder, then, if maybe true freedom will come from that humility as well...