There are two things I have consistently stated about children. One: They see and experience a completely different world than we do. Two: They make me horribly uncomfortable. Maybe these two are connected. Maybe kids make me so uncomfortable because despite my dedication to empathy and my anthropological training in relativism, I still cannot see their world. Or maybe I just don´t like kids. Either way. The point is that over the past three weeks, I have had an enormous amount of exposure to children, and while I still don´t understand them and although my attention span is still limited, I have learned a thing or two and my tolerance has grown.
When I first arrived at Kila Leufu, there were kids all over the place. There was a really wonderful German family staying with us for three weeks, and they had an eight month old son and a three year old daughter. Then of course there are Irma´s grandchildren, two of whom, nine year old Yoerma and one year old Francisco, come to the house every single day. So this isn´t like Mountain Sky where I can work a kid´s shift, hang out for a few hours, and spend the rest of the day regaining my sanity. This is kid central. All the time. While I work. While I sleep. While I meditate. While I eat. While I cook. While I rest. And these kids are curious, energetic, clingy family members. This is a different ball game, ladies and gentlemen, and I was in way over my head. But, once I adjusted to my place in the household, once I learned what I was expected to do and whatadditional services I could offer, I began to find time to appreciate the company of children. We played together. I asked them questions and I answered theirs. We shared stories. We laughed. We hung out. And I learned a few lessons that, while you may already know, were completely new to me.
Kids are smart. Children, from infants to youth, apply an incredible sense of logic in the attempt at making sense of the big, unknown world around them. They are rather observant and they pick up on things really quickly. Francisco, for instance, just started coming to the farm two months ago. Before that, he barely spoke and he never left the house. Now, he has names for all of the animals on the farm and he knows the feeding schedule. Every day for two months, he followed his grandfather around the farm, watching him interact with the animals and observing the daily routine. So when his grandpa sits down for his afternoon mate, Francisco almost instantly goes to get his grandpa´s shoes and starts pointing to the door and saying ¨coco¨(his word for chicken). Even in the three weeks that I have been here, I have seen him learn new words, new places, and new connections. He cannot talk, per se, but he can sure as hell communicate. That is one of the most impressive things I have picked up on: kids have remarkable communication abilitities. Effa-the three year old german--talked all the time. She knew a few Spanish phrases--the important ones like ¨¿Quieres jugar?¨ )Do you want to play?) and ¨Què rico¨ (How delicious!). But most of the time she just rambled on and on in German. I didn´t understand a word she said, but I knew she was brilliant. It was in her eyes. It was in the way she used her hands and moved her head. It was as if her words could barely keep up with all the thoughts going through her head, so she relied on the rest of her body to express herself. Brilliant. And once that ability to observe combines with their ability to communicate, kids are an unending source of knowledg. One day, Yoerma and I were talking when we stumbled upon the topic of mothers. Instantly, Yoerma asked if I wanted to be a mother. When I hesitated, she immediately said that she understands because ¨Mothers have to sacrifice a lot.¨ Now I have no idea if her mom has used those words before or if she had somehow put that together on her own, but either way it is still a remarkable (and somewhat daunting) realization for a nine year old to have. How impressive, though, that a nine year old is already empathizing with other people and understanding human emotions. Remarkable.
If you are fortunate enough to know that kids are brilliant and you are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to travel, then I hope you are smart enough to use children as tools to understand other cultures. On a basic level, kids are great language teachers. They are harsh teachers, and they will openly tell you when you have said a word incorrectly or used the wrong phrase. But they´re also judgefree friends and great charades players, and they are fantastic people to explain the definitions of unknown words. More than just language teachers, kids can also show you a lot about the cultural norms and social relations of a particular society. For one, you can just observe them. By people watching children (in the noncreepiest of ways possible), I have seen how teenage girls act around strangers and cute boys, how young kids respond to their given freedom to explore nature and their local towns, and how kids of all ages act toward family members. When I see something that I don`t understand, that`s when I just ask. Yoerma has taught me that her friends pollute so much not because they aren`t taught about the environmental impacts of their actions, but because their lazy. Oh. She has also taught me that it is not necesary to say please when you ask for things. In fact, ¨Dame la sal¨ (Give me the salt.) is informal, and means that you are on a friendly level with the person. If you didn`t know them or didn`t feel comfortable, that`s when you would say please.
Not only has living with children taught me a lot about other cultures, but it has also afforded me the opportunity to learn a lot about myself. Kids are observent and they are honest. They pick up on subtleties and they´ll tell you about them. For instance, did you know that I sing A LOT? And not just humming beats or singing a few lines. I sing when I talk, and make words like bueno and gracias flow like musical notes. I would have never known that if Yoerma didn`t start copying the way I speak and laughing every time that I sing. Also, did you know that I`m an adult? Yeah. Apparently I aged. I asked Yoerma what she wants to do when she grows up and her response was ¨You mean when I`m an adult like you? Be a mom!¨ So not only am I a grown up adult, but also I missed the Chilean mom-train. Shame. But I don`t have to be told everything. I`ve picked up on some things all on my own. I learned that I will let out the purest, heartfilled laugh when I see a kid accidently get sprayed with water and start to smile. I also learned that I have neither the energy nor the desire to become a mom, who are by far the strongest and bravest people on the planet. Don`t worry though, I also am starting to get the sense that although the maternal instinct hasn`t come through, it may be slowly seeping out from somewhere deep inside me. Despite all my distaste for children, there are few things I like more than seeing a child smile, than watching a little girl grab her mom´s hand and whisper in her ear, or than making sure a nine year old girl who has never had a birthday party has the most memorable day with a cake, with a house filled with homemade decorations, with presents, with games, and with all her cousins (Mom, I think this came from you! You would have been proud. I learn from the best!).
So yeah. Children. Oh the things you learn and the people you meet.
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