What does hiking mean to me? I haven't really given this question too much thought, which is strange considering how important this activity is to me. It's not like I haven't thought about it...it's just that all of my deconstruction has been on the shallow side of deep. I've either measured the activity in bilateral terms---the journey or the destination--or I have considered hiking to be a form of escape from popular society. But this doesn't really explain why hike, what I experience while I am hiking, and what I gain while hiking. It doesn't even scratch the surface.
For me...hiking is about realization. When I hike, I realize the world, I realize my place within the world, and in turn I realize myself.
When I am hiking, I realize the world. I realize how big it is. And even though I have seen hundreds of river valleys, have climbed dozens of mountains, and have seen many a beautiful sight, each time I realize the world anew. Yes,I begin to note the similarities between various places. A certain smell of dried pine needles in El Bolson can transform me back to a summer in Yellowstone. The way the sunlight turns the hills golden remind me of my home in Montana. The sound of a calm lake can instantly bring my back to my childhood on the shores of Michigan. The site of rolling hills make me feel like a teenager in upstate New York. But at the same time, despite the similarities and the connected memories, each time I hike I experience something new and unique. Here, I have heard the way a field of tall grass can echo with the sound of popping seeds on a hot summer day; I have slept under a night sky that has more shimmering stars than black space; I have stumbled upon a glacier lake of ice burgs hidden behind a field of giant white boulders. It's a big world, and with each hike I realize a little bit more.
But I also realize where I fit within this big world. Hiking is how I connect with my surroundings. Through vision and through touch, I participate in the natural world. I used to believe that, with each mountain I climbed, I was somehow conquering a piece of the world and that I was somehow taking ownership over this moment and place. But this is not the case. Not in the least bit. From the top of a mountain, I realize how small I am. When I see peaks of mountains stretching as far as the eye can see, I realize how little of the world I know and how little of the world I will ever know. I am small and I am expendable. I am humbled by the big details and fascinated by the small. The world is bigger than I will ever be, and the most I can do is continue to acknowledge and appreciate it.
Although I am small in comparison to the world, I realize too how big I am in my own life. I may not be conquering a mountain, but I am conquering something internal. Hiking, a physically and mentally strenuous task, shows me what I am capable of. I learn to listen to myself, and to balance the physical with the mental. When my body is tired, my mind takes control and tells my body to stop thinking and keep stepping. When my body can physically handle the 12 hour hike over two mountains but my mind knows how dangerous it is to do alone, I need to listen to my intuition and balance the risks. With each hike, I learn to become more present and I learn to listen to my physical and mental demands. I begin to diminish the separation between mind and body and I begin to realize myself as a single whole individual.
And for that realization, I hike and I will continue to hike and I can only hope that everyone finds something that fulfills them in such a way.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Well, hello there.